Acceptance of our feeling that we don't like is key to getting through them.

"Speaking life" and speaking positive have their place, ...it's SECOND place actually.  The FIRST is Acceptance.  Acceptance is the foundation for change to occur.  We cannot change something that we don't accept is a reality.  We mus first accept a feeling or condition we have.  Denial or running from our feelings only make it worse because our feelings are undone or unfinished.  We must accept and stay in our feelings for a time in order to complete the process.  When we don't it's like we push the pause button.  It will wait for us.  Most -if not all- my clients have unfinished emotional business from years in the past.  In therapy we revisit those painful hard emotions to complete the process.

One man came into my office this week very angry and ready to quit.  Immediately before there was a situation that he gave a "hundred dollar response to a 10 dollar question."  At first he couldn't see his emotional overreaction.  About an hour later he could see it all plainly.  I told him he had 'old anger' and he is never going to complete anything or be successful in his goals because of this anger and fear.  We went back to when he was a kid when he saw his father physically abuse his mother.  He made judgments and made vows (two no-no's we are compassionately warned not to do in God's Word.)  With his eyes closed he connected with the emotion that has always been there and he cried red-faced for most of that hour.

Four times as he play the 'video tape' of the event.  The last time he allowed God to show him what He was doing while that abuse was going on.  He saw the event from four progressive perspective and he was done.  For 25 years he carried this anger and fear that limited him (he said he never had finished anything.)  In one hour of pain he made it through to the other side.

At the end I asked him if his anger had decreased, he said it was gone.  I asked about the fear too, he said the same that it was gone.  I've been checking in with him the last two days and it is still gone and his disposition has changed.  He has walked me to me truck and hugged me goodbye twice now in appreciate for his inner transformation.  He became a new person.

Changing to become a new person is the key!  In one day God gave me this short story called a A Collective Being Named Neo. I wrote it and made this youtube recording all in less than a day (normally I'm pretty slow and methodical.)  Check out the link below and let me know what you think!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvkgOilyUm8

5 questions to ask and 5 questions not to ask to help you find the right counselor.

A number of people never get counseling because they are afraid they won’t get a counselor that helps them. This fear could cost them an opportunity to get the help they need or the opportunity to simply better themselves. Finding a counselor you feel comfortable with can be a daunting task but not a difficult one; it is one that will require effort on your part. You have to know what you’re looking for and how to find it. Here are a number of questions to ask and not to ask that will help you find the counselor that best suits your needs.

5 Questions to Ask:

+1 Do you take my insurance?

There are many, many insurance panels. I don’t have the numbers, but on the national level it has to be in the 100s. This means that asking for a list of insurance panels that a counselor takes is somewhat useless, since you only need to know if they take one- yours.

+2 Has he or she dealt with my problem before?

Just like normal doctors, some counselors specialize in specific issues. Seeing a trauma specialist for help with communication in your marriage would probably not be very effective.

+3 When is the next available appointment?

This can be a deal breaker, as some clinicians (especially around the holidays) might be booked for the next month or even longer. Don’t be too suspicious of a counselor who has a lot of availability- they may be new to the area, recently changed their hours, or simply hit a lull.

+4 What is their counseling style?

Each counselor, just like any trainer, has a distinct personality and style. If you need someone to challenge you constantly, then find a counselor who does that. If you need someone who brings warmth and kindness to each session, then make sure you find someone with those qualities.

+5 Do they fit what you are looking for?

It’s okay to have a conception of what you are looking for in a counselor. Whether it’s an age, specific ethnicity, or religious beliefs, if it will make you more comfortable don’t be afraid to make those qualities known.

5 Questions NOT to Ask:

-1 What is their education level?

Frankly, as long as they are licensed it simply does not matter. There are certainly differences, but I have never observed a consistent and substantive difference in the quality of service offered by Masters and doctoral level clinicians.

-2 Is the clinician any good?

It is extremely unlikely that whoever your talking to about the clinician while looking to schedule has ever seen the counselor for a session. Also, they are paid to get you to come in so you’ll most likely get an answer that is both positive and generic. If you have doubts, either do more research online or just take the plunge.

-3 How many sessions until my issue is resolved?

Like snowflakes, every counseling relationship is different. Most counselors have a pretty good idea how many sessions it should take for your problem to be resolved, but they will need to conduct the intake session before they can even give this general outline.

-4 Can you convince my child/spouse/family member to come in to counseling?

Nope. An unwilling participant is unlikely to get much out of normal counseling, and counselors can’t spend all their time trying to convince people to come in to see them.

-5 Can you guarantee that therapy will be a painless process?

No.  In fact it is very probable that you will experience emotional pain as you revisit memories in the therapeutic process.  However, it is necessary to feel it to get through it.  Some counselors have the skills to offer you new approaches so you are able to resolve the past while not being so effected by the pain, and in fact, feel immediately better! 

Counselor Casey Cole Corbin's answers to these questions:

+1  No.  Private pay only.

+2  Call me and we can discuss your issues in free phone consultation.  229-292-4366

+3  We can schedule in person and Skype-like over-the-internet sessions.

+4  I utilize conscious talk therapy followed by subconscious change work therapy approaches to more directly address the habitual (automatic-process) issues that are perpetuating your problem.  

+5  30 years experience in subconscious change work.  Over 15 years as a certified substance abuse counselor dealing with multiple and complicated issues.  Over 10 years supervising other counselors and therapist internships and practicums.  

-1  Client testimonials available.  

-2  Utilizing the briefest of brief therapies.  Subconscious change work works much faster than conscious therapy alone.  In fact I specialize in helping other therapist's clients for a short term referral for one or two sessions and then returning them back to their original therapist.  

-3  Frequently one session.  In fact the approaches are not just used on the client but taught to the client so that they no longer need me to address other or future issues.  

-4  Group or multiple person sessions are welcome.  

-5  Having new approaches to manage your own moods is central to my therapeutic approach.  

Call Casey Cole Corbin

229-292-4366

This article is adapted from Ben Bayn ton's at http://thriveworks. com/blog/5-questions-ask-4-questions-ask-help-find-right-counselor/