LABELS -it's our perceptions of what happens to us.

Labels.
They are kind of a big deal. As a counselor for two decades you can image that I've heard it all. From traumatic events in people's lives, to terrible abuse and neglect. You also might imagine that it would be hard for me to not to compare one person's story to another. Take sexual abuse for example. Easily considered by most to be the most horrible thing that could happen -and I'd agree. Now some clients have told me really really bad experiences that I won't go into detail here. Others have told me relatively minor stories in comparison.

But you know what? How bad the abuse was is not the greatest factor in how they are today as a functional adult ...or not. What I've learned is that it's not what happens to us in life, it's our perceptions of what happens to us. How we perceive things like being abused determines the outcome.

Person "A" perceives being abused as something that happened, that they have thoughts and feelings about it but it doesn't define them or speak into who they are. Or they define themselves in the positive as a "Survivor."

Person "B" perceives being abused is something that happened in their past that means something about them now. It stuck to their identity. "Because I was picked to be sexually abuse means that I am ____"

This can label us like those "Hello My Name Is:" stickers that we wear. How we perceived it can become a judgement about ourselves; what we believe about ourselves. We then continue to act according to that belief about ourselves on an unconscious level. This belief about our identity controls us on a subconscious level. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy we find ourselves in the same situation over and over again throughout our timeline. It may not appear that obvious. Probably not being sexually abused as an adult, but perhaps their label says, "Pawn" or someone's play thing. So they allow themselves to be not treated with respect at work or by others. Or they feel they have to please others and not themselves.

What's the fix?  As always forgiveness and truth.  Forgiveness in three directions of God, others, and self.  Then replace the false believe about self with the truth.  But sometimes there is barrier or blockage to this process.  Sometimes we as humans need help to get past.  As a counselor this is my speciality.  If you are ready contact me and let's get you past your past!

It's not what happens to us in life, it's our perceptions of what happens to us.