"Everything Happens for a Reason" is Bad Personal Theology!

Please be careful using the 'things happen for a reason' line. People use it often to intellectually explain when bad things happen. This temporarily puts the feelings on pause, but in the long run can create confusion and bitterness. For example, when some is going through a divorce. Many of my clients are going through or have been through divorce. And many have said to me 'things happen for a reason' to either help them not feel the guilt of what they have done to end the marriage or to give themselves hope that God has someone better for them down the road. But the truth is that God hates divorce. He doesn't hate divorced people. The point is His will was that they stay married ...but not at all costs ...therefore divorce was given as an option. God's will is NOT done on earth (as it is in heaven) at this time, just look around. This is free will. Her's and his's. Not God's.

The reason I am harping on this is the mindset the 'things happen for a reason' line creates. Later people unconsciously see God as responsible for pain in our lives. He isn't, we are. The responsibility and fault is ours ...well our flesh, Beast Brain, the devil, and this sin sick fallen world.

But that is good news! If we are part of the problem we can be part of the solution to fix it! We can't do anything against an all powerful God. But we can learn and grow and make better choices and have better outcomes.

And also the idea of 'things happen for a reason' puts God as our enemy. No! He is on our side! He loves us so much.

When going through hard times, your Father is shedding tears of sadness for you. That's one reason why He warns us of the consequences of sin -cause it hurts us. Sin hurt His children that He loves. He isn't threatening us! Like He will get us if we defy Him. He isn't a dictator, He is our loving Father who hurts when we hurt. Now this God you can love back. Not out of duty but out of genuine love. The real GOd is One you can worship, praise, and submit too wholeheartedly! Which is healing for us.