Judged for spelling.

I am a terrible speller. I teach numerous workshop involving my 'two worlds' of counseling and art -and sometimes both! Last year I taught meditation, art & therapy in Cape Cod where the 70 clinians in my audience were mostly more educated and credentials than myself.  I even had to two doctors in attendance.  

I teach writing on whiteboards to avoid "Death by Powerpoint".  Although it would be wiser of me because Powerpoint has spell-check.  So I usually start off with this little joke to set the tone:

"I take pride being a creative person, but I am a bad speller -as you will see.  I actually feel sorry for you people, you only know one way to spell a word.  I am much more creative than that."

So let's make a deal, don't judge me for being a bad speller and I won't judge you for lacking imagination! 

Judging is a tricky thing.  "Judge not least ye be judge" but what does that mean?  Especially since we are also charged to have a good judgment.  

Also, judgment is subjective.  Last year I won first place in a large art competition.  Out of 100s of entries my piece was judged to be the best in one of the four categories (sculpture).  What a compliment!  ...until I looked around to look at what the same judge considered the best in the other categories.  In my own subjective judgement they picked crap!  It was the worst stuff!  There was so much better art that was not given one of the many colored ribbons.  Now their judgement almost feels insulting.  But I still cashed the $500 check!  

Art Therapist are very territorial!

Yet there is only around 5,000 of them in the US.
In comparison there is:

-10 times that amount of Married Family Therapist (MFT) 48,000.

-100 times Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC) 552,000.

-And are even more Social Workers (MSW) 682,100.

-Add other types of counselors (substance abuse 260,200, school counselors, Christian and pastoral, etc.) you got a lot of people doing the work of therapy and many use art sometimes.

But this little group thinks they own everything "art" + "therapy" activity or wording! So I avoid using those words together.

Well, I shouldn't say that all Art Therapist are very territorial. I've had a few official real Art Therapist in my workshops on "Art & Therapy" (Please note the use of the "&" sign.) They were great people that I have friended me on social media and could be reading this right now. So, ...I am sure there are some reasonable Licensed Art Therapist! 　

It's just the unreasonable ones seem to be drawn to talk to me, criticize the book that I wrote on art & therapy group projects, discuss theories of existential ghost-like artist, and metaphysicalcolor art experiences. One told me he kinesthetically experienced the 5th dimensional color Phaphalophethan. Which he explained as the color of a soldier returning home after war. Or was this just a memory of the TV show, "The Good Place"?

Perhaps I am just jealous. If I had infinite time, energy and resources -tomorrow I would go to the University of Tallahassee and get a master's in Art & Therapy -I meant Art Therapy! (Wow! Then I would actually have the credentials use the words together!!!!)

Resources:  Emotional Enrichment is in my wheelhouse.  It's starts with emotion identification.  Most of us don't know what we are feeling or why we are feeling it.  I created a process I initially used with my clients, but now everyone!  It's called a two part exercise and experience called Emotion Mapping and Mood Management.  To do so I created audio/written products that you can see here:  https://gumroad.com/caseycolecorbin 

I wrote a book on art & therapy (see what I did there?)  5 years ago that features pour art (in it's primitive stage, this art form as advanced significantly with cool additives for cells that pop up on their own.)  Obviously I've adjusted when I teach it now and you can imagine the wow factor! 

Pour Art (also called Fluid Art and Flow Art) has always been about lack of control.  Letting go and not being so 'tight'.  In my book I offer a group exercise on this that build community within the group members by first agitating them!  It's great fun!  Here's my book info:

Create! Expressive External (Art) and Internal (Mindfulness) Therapeutic Activities to: -Increase Creativity -Problem Solve -Get Past your Past! Individually or in Groups! by Casey  https://www.amazon.com/Create-Expressive-Therapy-Problem-Solving/dp/1481145916 

Ton's of free resources on my Facebook page about learning this art form:   https://www.facebook.com/DynamicFluidArt/  

LABELS -it's our perceptions of what happens to us.

Labels.
They are kind of a big deal. As a counselor for two decades you can image that I've heard it all. From traumatic events in people's lives, to terrible abuse and neglect. You also might imagine that it would be hard for me to not to compare one person's story to another. Take sexual abuse for example. Easily considered by most to be the most horrible thing that could happen -and I'd agree. Now some clients have told me really really bad experiences that I won't go into detail here. Others have told me relatively minor stories in comparison.

But you know what? How bad the abuse was is not the greatest factor in how they are today as a functional adult ...or not. What I've learned is that it's not what happens to us in life, it's our perceptions of what happens to us. How we perceive things like being abused determines the outcome.

Person "A" perceives being abused as something that happened, that they have thoughts and feelings about it but it doesn't define them or speak into who they are. Or they define themselves in the positive as a "Survivor."

Person "B" perceives being abused is something that happened in their past that means something about them now. It stuck to their identity. "Because I was picked to be sexually abuse means that I am ____"

This can label us like those "Hello My Name Is:" stickers that we wear. How we perceived it can become a judgement about ourselves; what we believe about ourselves. We then continue to act according to that belief about ourselves on an unconscious level. This belief about our identity controls us on a subconscious level. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy we find ourselves in the same situation over and over again throughout our timeline. It may not appear that obvious. Probably not being sexually abused as an adult, but perhaps their label says, "Pawn" or someone's play thing. So they allow themselves to be not treated with respect at work or by others. Or they feel they have to please others and not themselves.

What's the fix?  As always forgiveness and truth.  Forgiveness in three directions of God, others, and self.  Then replace the false believe about self with the truth.  But sometimes there is barrier or blockage to this process.  Sometimes we as humans need help to get past.  As a counselor this is my speciality.  If you are ready contact me and let's get you past your past!

It's not what happens to us in life, it's our perceptions of what happens to us.

"Everything Happens for a Reason" is Bad Personal Theology!

Please be careful using the 'things happen for a reason' line. People use it often to intellectually explain when bad things happen. This temporarily puts the feelings on pause, but in the long run can create confusion and bitterness. For example, when some is going through a divorce. Many of my clients are going through or have been through divorce. And many have said to me 'things happen for a reason' to either help them not feel the guilt of what they have done to end the marriage or to give themselves hope that God has someone better for them down the road. But the truth is that God hates divorce. He doesn't hate divorced people. The point is His will was that they stay married ...but not at all costs ...therefore divorce was given as an option. God's will is NOT done on earth (as it is in heaven) at this time, just look around. This is free will. Her's and his's. Not God's.

The reason I am harping on this is the mindset the 'things happen for a reason' line creates. Later people unconsciously see God as responsible for pain in our lives. He isn't, we are. The responsibility and fault is ours ...well our flesh, Beast Brain, the devil, and this sin sick fallen world.

But that is good news! If we are part of the problem we can be part of the solution to fix it! We can't do anything against an all powerful God. But we can learn and grow and make better choices and have better outcomes.

And also the idea of 'things happen for a reason' puts God as our enemy. No! He is on our side! He loves us so much.

When going through hard times, your Father is shedding tears of sadness for you. That's one reason why He warns us of the consequences of sin -cause it hurts us. Sin hurt His children that He loves. He isn't threatening us! Like He will get us if we defy Him. He isn't a dictator, He is our loving Father who hurts when we hurt. Now this God you can love back. Not out of duty but out of genuine love. The real GOd is One you can worship, praise, and submit too wholeheartedly! Which is healing for us.

Meditation for those that can't' clear their mind.

Tried to meditate and found that you can't clear your mind?  

Or that you lose your focus?  

Have interrupting thoughts or feelings?
Well then this is the meditation program for you!

The approaches that I teach in "Meditation for Everyone!" is for ...everyone.  Including you!  

Truth is I've been practicing meditation for over 30 years and I've never achieved (nor desired to achieve) a totally clear mind!  The goal of nothingness is not a good goal.  I want to be present in the meditation and not try to remove myself!  

At the time of this writing I do not offer a Christian Mediation nor a Biblical Meditation program.  I may in the future, but I felt the priority is to help people learn how to control and relax their body, then mind, then emotions.  Once that is done you can do whatever you want while in the relaxed state where you are more whole minded.  Both conscious and subconscious mind are together in the same room.  This room I call the "Resource State".  This is the most productive state we can be in.  Great for creative problem solving and internal resourcing.  Now in this state is the perfect time to do Christian Meditation or Biblical Mediation and ponder and think on scripture or invite God into your meditation.  Maybe you have heard some people refer to prayer as asking the question, and meditation is listening for the answer.  I think both is both, but the expression is pretty good!

Thoughts, feelings and To Do lists will try to distract.  The secret is to understand them properly: since the goal of learning to meditate is to focus, these give the needed opportunity to refocus!  Now those same things that used to interrupt and irritate we can now be grateful for!  Now when you have a thought, just say to yourself, that was a thought and let it drift in and drift out.  When you have a feeling allow it to remind you to refocus and return your attention to your breath and your current task while in meditation.

This process is made easy by the "Meditation for Everyone" set I created for those of you that can't clear you mind!  (...like the rest of us.)  

Click here:  https://gumroad.com/caseycolecorbin
 and then pick the $49 one called Meditation for Everyone.  It is a 6-pack of short 4-10 minute practice skill building meditations plus one long 38 minute meditation.  

One of the short ones is the Progressive Muscle Tension Relaxation (PMTR) that is also offered on the page as a single for $10.

However, as a subscriber to my blog I am going to give you a code that will work for the next 5 days to make the Set of 7 less than buying only one!
Enter code: now
and watch the price change from $49 to $9!  

only for the next 5 days!  

Please SHARE this offer to your friends that need it and could take advantage of the one-time offer!  

Emotional Responsibility!

By now you have heard of Emotional Intelligence.  It's good stuff and you should spend some time researching it.  But how do you get there?  By taking Emotional Responsibility.

This would be a good adage to put on your refrigerator:  "I become mature in any area of my life that I take personal responsibility."

This changes everything!  Not only are my emotional responses my responsibility -and within my control, but they are readable kinesthetically in the body!  In fact, taking the time and attention to the emotion represented in the feelings in my body is the key to being in control of yourself.

When we become aware of the feeling of an emotion in our body we decide between Expression or Suppression. But there is another option: Observation. 

Next time you feel, try just observing the feeling. There is no immediate need to express it ...or suppress it. Just sit in it. Be with it. Objectively be aware of it. Don't do anything to change it -just accept that it is there. No longer subject to it. Move from subjectively experiencing emotion to objective awareness.

Notice then how the feeling of emotions comes ...and goes.
The sensation soften ...and others appear.
Ever have cravings? Now just wait them out. As strong as they appear, they will disappear.
Accept that there is nothing wrong with cravings. It would be wrong to act on them, but to have them is normal, human, and to be accepted. Observe them patiently. Accept that they are there. Allow them to float in ...and float out. 

Notice how you are safe, good, and OK just observing that sensation.

This is part of the process that I teach all my clients.  It's called Emotion Mapping and Mood Management.  100s of my clients demanded that I create an audio product so they could go through the Therapeutic Meditation exercise again and again.  So this link goes to the consumer product 

Therapeutic Meditation for Mood Management Self Mastery:

https://gumroad.com/l/cudZt 

Other counselors and therapists wanted me to teach them how to use these approaches with their clients.  After teaching 100s of them in person workshops in Cape Cod to Savannah, I created this course

A Clinician’s Guide to Therapeutic Meditation Course & Curriculum:  https://gumroad.com/l/RPQHQ 

Feel free to contact through my website if I can help you personally or your organization: caseycolecorbin.com 

"How do you live with yourself?"

"How do you live with yourself?"  Has anyone ever asked you this? Maybe you've heard it asked to others before then. While usually an insult, I think it's a fair question we should ponder on. 

So just how do you live with yourself? Is living within yourself peaceful? Regretful? Guilt or shameful? As you live your day-to-day life what's it like living it with you? 

I heard of a conversation a missionary had as he was leaving to come home. An older woman said to him, "I like myself best when I'm around you." I cannot imagine a better compliment! We are complimented on our clothes, our stuff, or doing a good job --but she gave a compliment on who he was! His identity! Amazing! I want to hear someone say this to me one day. '

Can we apply this to ourselves? Do you like yourself best when you are around you? We better -cause we are around ourselves a lot! If we don't like ourselves when we are around ourselves then that's a pretty miserable life. If that's true of you, let's agree that no matter what SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE!

 What will it take to live better with yourself? For you to like yourself best when you are around you?
Seriously -make a list. How can this list be accomplished? Will you need help? Are you stuck? Therapy and Coaching is not just for 'crazy people'. It help us go from good to great! Contact me for help!